Crossfitarchway

Long ago, and not so very long ago, there inhabited a virtuous community in an empire called the Land of Duty. They were guided by their ruling lord to whom they commonly referred as the Daddy. The inhabitants vehemently followed all the directions and orders of Daddy, who paid a regular surveillance on them each day and on each activity. Daddy’s words were final and mandatory in almost all the matters be it concerning religion, principles, education, love, marriage, production and even reproduction. Yes! Sex and the logic of it had its bearing on Daddy’s good judgment. At least that’s what was to happen after that day when Daddy called all the inhabitants to the Ground of Holy Birth (apparently the place of God’s origination). A massive golden shrine stood on that land huge enough to accommodate several generations of the entire population. Yet, surrounding the Ground of Holy Birth were meagrely built match-box condominiums, jam-packing all the inhabitants who had religiously adjusted with the declared landlessness in the empire. The holy birth place was also the venue for the Hour of Worship, a regular state ceremony to declare policy formulations. It was on one such ceremony that Daddy, clad in his saffron robe, enthroned himself once again on a raised platform and gave this speech that was to guide not only future generations but also the way they were to generate. The following speech is now also amongst the many religious texts of the Land of Duty.

“Daddy’s Blessings! My dear children, last night God visited me. He was in great pain and anguish. His crown-bearing head was Escort service in Mcleodganj drooping and his majestic hands looked frail. Upon my questioning he answered that the kids had forgotten their duties and that savaged him. My dear children, our God was worried that you sacrifice potential holy duties towards the state and the God himself for the meagre activity of love making and sex. Needless to mention is the filthy and unholy celebration of the foreign instituted idea of Valentine’s Day. Hence, in order to please our God and to fulfil our duties towards the state, culture and society, I demand you to maintain a stoic conviction for the principles of sex, which is nothing but God’s own message to redefine man’s relationship with woman.

Our view towards sex should not be as an activity but as a process. Land needs water – have you ever thought Why? Land, so distinct from water in appearance and characteristics gets washed by it everyday. Why does it have to undergo this process? You’re right! Because it needs fertility. Similarly my children… Men and women have been uniting since ages only to forge ahead the process of procreation. To give birth so that God is always serviced for. To generate future workers for the betterment of the state. Sex, hence, has always been a means to achieve this end.

God is wise. He is supreme. He is omniscient. It is He who enlightened me and reminded me how painful the process of sex is. How unhealthy, dirty and inhuman a practice is the exchange of saliva during a kiss. How dangerous a process has sex become with the assent of sexually transmitted diseases. Now wonder had it just been an activity for entertainment why would it not be as effortless as singing or listening to a hymn. This is not the nature of humankind God had once created. You would say that you derive pleasure from sex. Pleasure, my children, is in the service of God. Pleasure to attain divinity and spiritual summits. So much so that it leads you to witness God himself. Every other pleasure is not only disrespect towards state but also a blasphemy.

In this view for the refinement of the present state of affairs and the betterment of coming generations, Science for Worship division of the State has devised a revolutionary method to procreate. It is not only a matter of immense pride but also an opportunity to prove our admiration and devotion to the great man above all of us. The method of artificial insemination is our gift to the almighty in whose service we promise to spend our remaining lives. With this scientific invention, men and women no longer need to sleep together, make love, kiss each other or even enter the world of fantasies. It is in this view that your Daddy announces the new sexual policy for the holy state of Land of Duty.

First, sex is a ban: My dear children. You have come to this world with a purpose. The purpose is to do unconditional service for the supremacy of State and God. Every minute you waste on sex, is a minute your potential service is deprived of. Hence, in fulfilling their duty towards the almighty, the Monk Police has all the rights to purge anyone of you caught having sex, making love, kissing, exchanging gestures of pleasure and love or even masturbating. Remember, God is above all of us. He sees everybody and knows everything. So to even think about anything remotely related to physical love with opposite sex is a misdemeanour He will punish you for.

Second, worship is pleasure: Not in the grimy practice of kissing, or painful process of sex or contaminated thoughts about making love, the real pleasure lies in the worship of God and service for the State. If you believe in Daddy’s wisdom, then be assured that the attainment of salvation is the ultimate attainment of mankind. And the attainment of salvation is either through working in this holy shrine or for the state erected industries. There is nothing called love for another human. Love is always for almighty or the State. He who gives you wisdom and State which gives you employment are the only subjects of affection for you.

Third, homosexuals are sinners: How taken aback is God to see the extent to which you have tried to play with and spoil the pristine character of nature! It is not only an insidious crime against the natural order but also an infestation of sexual virus on the unadulterated consciousness that serves almighty. Such individuals are not only unfit to live in our holy society but in any civilisation inhabited by humans. These are the creatures who overlook nature for pleasure. And hence, are subject to an expulsion from the God’s own world.